I had an appointment with my surgeon on the 7th day following my surgery.. a Friday. I was pretty excited actually as I wanted to hear what he had to say... I was hoping he'd fall over in amazement when he realized that wolverine really was real.. but also I sooo wanted my dressings removed so I could shower with something other than a face cloth and a sink full of water. Sadly, I never made it to that appointment. Half way down to Toronto, mid-conversation my dad went silent.. "Hmm" he said "I just pushed the brake and it went all the way to the floor and nothing happened..." at least he didn't panic! Anyway, it was not something you mess around with. So we stopped at a gas station, he checked the brakes.. did a few tweaks... and we decided to keep going. It was less than 5 minutes on the highway before that happened again. Worried for both our lives, we turned around and proceeded cautiously home. Fortunately we made it, no problems.
Anyway, I had to wait another 4 days to see him.
In the meantime, things were going well. My physio said I could start riding my exercise bike.. "do little half circles" she said, just to try to start the stretch and try to go all around when you can. And you know what? That night I went home... managed to go all the way around in 2 minutes and spent the next 20 minutes on the bike. It felt soooo great! And I've been biking 30 minutes a day since :)
The splint.. also referred to as my "roboleg" ...was becoming more of a nuisance.. that was probably the biggest hinderance. You have to velcro this long metal tube pretty much to your leg, that keeps it straight all the time. You're left no choice but to hobble. It slides down persistently which is sooo annoying! Going for a walk is not easy more because the splint won't stay up than because of the knee pain! Anyway, I was told it would be 6 weeks until the brace comes off so I bit my tongue and summoned patience.. and started to think of ways I could MacGyver something to hold it up.
I had my surgeon appointment mid week.. at this point it was 12 days post surgery. Well past the 5-7 days he prefers. My dad and I drove down to Toronto again, this time with the brakes fixed, and sadly got a speeding ticket on the way (funny, it's like the universe didn't want me to see him for some reason!).. but I finally saw him. I walked in with my splint and optimism, got excellent feedback from him and my progress, and walked out holding the splint in my arms - I was "free-walking" again! (very wobbly mind you.. but I was freeee!) News was great... knee flexion was well beyond the 90 degrees they need within the first few weeks... wounds healing... I could even start swimming at the end of the second week!! He had done a great job and I was motivated.
Anyway, since... I've just finished my 2nd week and have started into my 3rd. I have to say, at this point I feel great. It's such a rush to learn to walk again after you've been deprived... humbling. I have an appreciation for something so basic.. something so fundamental.. something I had never given a second thought and it feels amazing. Incredibly enlightening. I also feel a strange special connection with my body.. like I've stepped into a damaged temple and my only job is to protect and rebuild it. Crazy huh! It's like everything outside doesn't matter other than my body and getting it back functioning. In thinking of day to day life where we place so much energy worrying about the things we can't control, it's nice to be in a place where the energy and worries are placed on something we can.
The physical feeling is pretty good too. Knee is tight still... it feels like you have duct tape over your knee and you're trying to stretch it. Yet with each day it gives a bit more. Walking.. for a while it feels like you're still wearing a phantom splint... for the first bit I walked the same without the splint as I did with. It's recommended to wear the splint at night every night for another week.. as you can't control how you move when you sleep - so night times are still a bit tough.. hard to sleep. 2 more days and no more splint in bed though :) It's strange every day brings new pains and new strengths... parts of you are sore that aren't even close to the knee! My glutes in particular are sore pretty regularly with exercise now.
In hindsight, I definitely think pre-hab is just as much or even more-so important than rehab. To be able to do the exercises, as well as just manoeuvre the tasks of life like going the washroom... arm strength is key to be able to push your body up off the floor... leg strength is essential... as every trip to the bathroom involves 2 one-legged squats!
It's also interesting that the mental / cognitive functioning aspect definitely suffers. Post drugs... and with the pain.. I have noticed it incredibly difficult to connect thoughts... or even carry on conversation. I feel much quieter than usual. Don't have much to say. Recently, thanks to a great friend, I learned there are actually links between pain and language - it's common that as physical pain dominates language diminishes temporarily (See Private Language Argument). Interesting. And it's so true! I feel so brain dead. And to this day.. I'm still feeling it big time. You'll probably notice too in there are most likely many spelling mistakes / grammatical errors in my write-up!
Anyway, I'll wrap up for this week. Everyone told me it is so tough going in... and I was prepared (well not so prepared) but I have to say.. so far it's been totally fine and I've loved the opportunity it has created for life to slow down and take a breath. Stay tuned for the update end of week 3 - hopefully the spirits are still high.
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